i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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