I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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