I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there was a trapeze. enough said
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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