Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
