New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
