Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
