i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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