Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
