Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
