just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
