I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
