it was like having sex with a tree stump
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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