Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
