shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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