I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
