just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
