when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
