he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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