dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
