Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
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Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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