Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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