Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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