consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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