We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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