One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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