Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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