I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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