At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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