i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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