I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I smell like Dick and happiness
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
