i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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