Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.