I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
pray to the hookup gods
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
