I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.