How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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