Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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(814): Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me. (1-814): I hope you walked the shit out of that shame. http://tfl.nu/1vn7

Replies (15) Good night (822) Bad night (2119)
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(256): View more from Alabama

It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.

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(256): It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops. http://tfl.nu/42cm

Replies (12) Good night (5840) Bad night (805)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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(912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda

Replies (9) Good night (1233) Bad night (3688)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...

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(412): I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student... http://tfl.nu/ab9h

Replies (25) Good night (5950) Bad night (1774)
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(347): View more from New York

So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok

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(347): So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok http://tfl.nu/ez1i

Replies (6) Good night (1277) Bad night (2372)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child

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(330): I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child http://tfl.nu/htew

Replies (9) Good night (1890) Bad night (775)
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(716): View more from New York

Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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(716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9

Replies (4) Good night (1794) Bad night (672)
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(979): View more from Texas

He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.

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(979): He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/z7tj

Replies (10) Good night (760) Bad night (2028)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that

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(250): The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet (1-250): Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that http://tfl.nu/74qk

Replies (11) Good night (376) Bad night (833)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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(215): I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear. http://tfl.nu/e69q

Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (340)
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(417): View more from Missouri

THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW

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(417): THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/z4i2

Replies (1) Good night (992) Bad night (267)
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(509): View more from Washington

Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

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(509): Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option. http://tfl.nu/ikne

Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (261)
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(207): View more from Maine

We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.

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(207): We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night. http://tfl.nu/i415

Replies (2) Good night (715) Bad night (262)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

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(616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb

Replies (6) Good night (497) Bad night (216)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.

(509): View more from Washington

you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left

(971): View more from Oregon

goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan

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(971): I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH. (509): you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left (971): goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan http://tfl.nu/bxrp

Replies (4) Good night (1300) Bad night (270)

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