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• (281): View more from Texas

  ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)

  (214): View more from Texas

  Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  It's like God shit irony all over that family

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.

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• (916): View more from California

  The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (408): View more from California

  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you never keep up with shots anymore

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm trying to be more responsible these days

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot

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