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• (650): View more from California

  My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (718): View more from New York

  it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store

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• (914): View more from New York

  Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class

  (1-914): View more from New York

  that is WHY your in summer classes

  (914): View more from New York

  worth it

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (310): View more from California

  This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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• (523): View more from

  I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower

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• (516): View more from New York

  I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!

  (972): View more from Texas

  THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING

  (214): View more from Texas

  OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You just wanted to meet firemen

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