I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
