now i know why i became what i already was.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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