I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
