Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
