Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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