My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
