We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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