the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
