super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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