Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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