The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
