They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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