would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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