Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize