So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
