I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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