what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He has the fingertips of a God
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
