I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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