I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
