My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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