and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
