he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
