I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
