let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
