Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you never un-have a 4some
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
