Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap