Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...

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(412): Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands... http://tfl.nu/7chd

Replies (10) Good night (1313) Bad night (541)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.

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(864): The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college. http://tfl.nu/rxu2

Replies (21) Good night (2800) Bad night (720)
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(415): View more from California

How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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(415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome http://tfl.nu/pei8

Replies (45) Good night (1002) Bad night (6518)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

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(615): i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card. http://tfl.nu/6ciy

Replies (40) Good night (9755) Bad night (1216)
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(517): View more from Michigan

New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause

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(517): New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause http://tfl.nu/0zau

Replies (65) Good night (17552) Bad night (954)
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(909): View more from California

Would you still love me if I had no teeth

(1-909): View more from California

Yeah why?

(909): View more from California

Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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(909): Would you still love me if I had no teeth (1-909): Yeah why? (909): Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone http://tfl.nu/a6a1

Replies (34) Good night (1515) Bad night (11822)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.

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(610): we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/7jhm

Replies (10) Good night (4823) Bad night (596)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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(812): I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me. http://tfl.nu/jath

Replies (6) Good night (3195) Bad night (870)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.

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(251): I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision. http://tfl.nu/w9kf

Replies (24) Good night (3741) Bad night (1197)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(334): I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots. (334): I stand by my new policy. http://tfl.nu/bu7l

Replies (4) Good night (1387) Bad night (557)
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(+01): View more from

I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom

(1+01): View more from

your the Dr. Phil in my life

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Today is an unchanging day

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(+01): I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom (1+01): your the Dr. Phil in my life (+01): Today is an unchanging day http://tfl.nu/6nwn

Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (460)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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(201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj

Replies (5) Good night (2689) Bad night (446)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.

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(+44): American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help. http://tfl.nu/w0ih

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (572)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?

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(248): Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents? http://tfl.nu/sosc

Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (316)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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(615): my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything. http://tfl.nu/13l7

Replies (10) Good night (1099) Bad night (313)

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