Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

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  (850): come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants. http://tfl.nu/d477
  Replies (14) Good night (631) Bad night (3474)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.

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  (313): this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it. http://tfl.nu/wugy
  Replies (44) Good night (608) Bad night (4319)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."

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  (514): i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty." http://tfl.nu/ecou
  Replies (15) Good night (4783) Bad night (889)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

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  (517): I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair. http://tfl.nu/elj5
  Replies (17) Good night (1464) Bad night (4228)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.

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  (419): My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day. http://tfl.nu/rvy5
  Replies (6) Good night (3433) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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  (970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng
  Replies (28) Good night (10400) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!

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  (435): he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?! http://tfl.nu/3uuq
  Replies (19) Good night (1260) Bad night (3643)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.

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  (716): I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone. http://tfl.nu/d9tx
  Replies (6) Good night (1609) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.

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  (636): Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us. http://tfl.nu/w51y
  Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?

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  (773): Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea? http://tfl.nu/7pdo
  Replies (4) Good night (964) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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  (440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa
  Replies (6) Good night (2335) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

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  (281): And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin. http://tfl.nu/b3st
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.

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  (951): The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever. http://tfl.nu/0whk
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.

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  (603): There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here. http://tfl.nu/dbwx
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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  (+44): We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA! http://tfl.nu/862o
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (214)

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