went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
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dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.