I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
