Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't like sucking hair
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
my liver is dry heaving
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
