my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
