I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
