and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
