Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
